Slasher Scorecard: Junior (1985)

Junior (1985)

I borrowed my buddy Josh's copy of Junior a few months ago and forgot about it. I remembered last night and decided to watch it and apply the Slasher Scorecard. Remember, the scoring system isn't necessarily intended to judge quality of the movie, but rather the amount of cliches it has. (Although some may argue a slasher's quality is proportional to the amount of cliches.)

Junior was a really fun romp. Most of the movie is structured like a rape-revenge exploitation movie. Two girls move to a rural area and fix up a house by the lake. They make a few friends, but are mostly terrorized by the hick Junior and his friends. This felt like a lighter version of Gator Bait. Towards the end, it jumps gears and decides it wants to be a slasher. Probably the best part of the movie was Junior himself. Junior didn't bring any horror but was used as comedic relief. Some of his curse-ladled rants were hilarious!

Sadly, Junior doesn't have a lot of gore or even horror cliches. There is one notable gore scene with a dog gutted out and handing from a rope. Other than that, this is pretty tame effectswise. Still, I recommend it for fans of Gator Bait or Snake Eater.

The movie nets a point total of 87. For context, this is a bit on the low side. 87 points is much higher than a giallo or something really tame would get, but lower than the other movies I've rated recently like Bay of Blood.  Here's the tallied up scorecard, with points earned in bold.

Slasher Scorecard: Junior

Find of the Week (1/27/13 - 2/2/13)

To Kill a Mockingbird Homemade Boardgame
Value: Priceless

Actual Cost: $0.95

I was looking through the boardgames at my thrift spot when I noticed this homemade box. To Kill a Mockingbird is a school project board game based on the Harper Lee classic.

The game mostly seems to be a repurposed copy of Sequence. The box is an inverted and taped up Sequence box. The pieces include Sequence chips (although I can't remember if they're actually used). The board itself is a hand painted(!) Sequence board. The pawns came from Sorry and Monopoly.

The handwriting is pretty bad, but the homemade rules mention recommended age at 12+. I'm guessing this was made by a 5th or 6th grader. The gameplay seems to be basic trivia and vocabulary, so I probably won't play it.

Even if I don't, it's cool to own a unique, one-of-a-kind board game!

Find of the Week (1/20/13 - 1/26/13)

Dag Nasty - Field Day (Vinyl)

Value: $25 on Discogs.com

Actual Cost: $17.99

Dag Nasty is one of my favorite bands. Their second album Wig Out at Denko's is possibly in my top five albums. Field Day is the follow up to that classic. It's something I've always wanted but probably would have never bought until I found it randomly. Unlike the other Dag Nasty releases from Dischord Records, Field Day was put out by Giant Records and never reprinted. I would never find it anywhere but the internet. I would probably never actually pull the trigger on buying it because the S&H costs would deter me.

But lo an behold, I found it at the local record shop. I listened to it and was very impressed. I've only listened to Field Day through digital copies, and they never sounded this good. I think sometimes the benefits to sound in vinyl recording are exaggerated. Not here. Field Day sounds much more powerful here than in the puny mp3s.

One of the most frequent complaints about this album is that Dag Nasty lost their hardcore punk edge, so the more raw sound definitely helps. I had forgotten how good Field Day actually is. It has some pop punk classics like "Things That Make No Sense" and some good bluesy rock. All in all, I'm very happy I picked it up!

Find of the Week (1/13/13 - 1/19/13)

Megaman NT Warrior: BattleNet Game

Value: $25 on eBay

Actual Cost: $2.52

I found this game during my weekly thrift run. The box is a little damaged, but, upon opening, it's new and unplayed. People on eBay are asking like $40-100 for it, with none of them selling. The only copy sold recently was $25.

I haven't played it yet and may never. I mostly bought it for the little Megaman mini's. The only thing I was able to find about this game made it seem like junk, but who knows? There's not a whole lot on BoardGameGeek.com relating to this one. My buddy Josh is a big Megaman fan, so maybe he'll want to try this one with me.

At the very least, I can use the miniatures for D&D.

Find of the Week (1/6/13 - 1/12/13)

Pokémon Monopoly: Collector's Edition
(with pewter figurines)

Value: $30-40

Actual Cost: $5.00

Here's another steal of a deal I found! This time it's a board game. This edition of Monopoly goes regularly for $40 complete on eBay but is sometimes found for as low as $30. I found it at Goodwill for $5. The store also had Pokémon Sorry, but I'm not going to stoop that low.

Say what you will about Monopoly, but this is probably the most interesting version. I mean, who wouldn't love to purchase Pokémon as properties! Pokémon theming aside, this game also has rules for special powers use (optionally) after rolling doubles. For instance, if you roll double 6's, you can choose to battle another trainer in a roll of the dice over ownership of one of their properties!

Probably my favorite thing about Pokémon Monopoly is that Nidoqueen and Nidoking are the replacements for Park Place and Boardwalk! That's just too cool!

Slasher Scorecard

Have you ever wished if there was a way to easily compare slasher movies based on graphic content? Now, thanks to my patented slasher scoring system, you can.

Developed with my buddies in Hamtramck, this system accounts for all the cool things you will find in slasher films, from castrations to cat scares to dog flashbacks. Be warned, when I use this scale in the future, it will contain spoilers about the ways people get murdered in slashers.

I have include the scoresheet so you can print them off and join along!

Slasher Scorecard

Tuesday on Tape #6 - The Guyver

#6 - The Guyver (10/16/12)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Previews: .5/1
Soundtrack: .5/.5
B&T: 1/1.5
Graphics: 1/1
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 0/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: 1/1.5
Total: 4.5/7

Rent or Buy?: Rent

Personal Thoughts: The Guyver is the 1991 American live-action film based off the Japanese manga/anime. As far as American live-action movies based on anime go, this one is pretty decent. It does its job well. I went into The Guyver expecting lots of monster suits, and that's exactly what I got.

The Kronos Company has created a mechanical suit thing called the Guyver, and our hero finds it. The company wants it back, so they send a bunch of anthropomorphic monsters to fight him.

Now, I've never read the original manga or seen any of the anime. I have no clue how this stacks up in a side-by-side comparison. I can say that this tape was a visual feast! Monsters galore! Unfortunately, it's not 100% greatness. Mark Hamill's character feels ultimately pointless, which is problematic given the amount of screentime dedicated to him. The other characters aren't too interesting either.

I got a good kick out of the scenes at the movie set, but not a whole lot of other stuff stuck out apart from the suits. I mean, suits are awesome and all, but this movie is going to score lower on our rating scale because we just don't have a category for monster suits. A lack of real characters hurt this one on the scoreboards especially.

My colleagues thought this was fun but unsubstantial. I guess I agree, but I think I may have liked it more than they did. I'd probably buy (not rent) the VHS again if I had to do all over.