Find of the Week (1/6/13 - 1/12/13)

Pokémon Monopoly: Collector's Edition
(with pewter figurines)

Value: $30-40

Actual Cost: $5.00

Here's another steal of a deal I found! This time it's a board game. This edition of Monopoly goes regularly for $40 complete on eBay but is sometimes found for as low as $30. I found it at Goodwill for $5. The store also had Pokémon Sorry, but I'm not going to stoop that low.

Say what you will about Monopoly, but this is probably the most interesting version. I mean, who wouldn't love to purchase Pokémon as properties! Pokémon theming aside, this game also has rules for special powers use (optionally) after rolling doubles. For instance, if you roll double 6's, you can choose to battle another trainer in a roll of the dice over ownership of one of their properties!

Probably my favorite thing about Pokémon Monopoly is that Nidoqueen and Nidoking are the replacements for Park Place and Boardwalk! That's just too cool!

Slasher Scorecard

Have you ever wished if there was a way to easily compare slasher movies based on graphic content? Now, thanks to my patented slasher scoring system, you can.

Developed with my buddies in Hamtramck, this system accounts for all the cool things you will find in slasher films, from castrations to cat scares to dog flashbacks. Be warned, when I use this scale in the future, it will contain spoilers about the ways people get murdered in slashers.

I have include the scoresheet so you can print them off and join along!

Slasher Scorecard

Tuesday on Tape #6 - The Guyver

#6 - The Guyver (10/16/12)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Previews: .5/1
Soundtrack: .5/.5
B&T: 1/1.5
Graphics: 1/1
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 0/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: 1/1.5
Total: 4.5/7

Rent or Buy?: Rent

Personal Thoughts: The Guyver is the 1991 American live-action film based off the Japanese manga/anime. As far as American live-action movies based on anime go, this one is pretty decent. It does its job well. I went into The Guyver expecting lots of monster suits, and that's exactly what I got.

The Kronos Company has created a mechanical suit thing called the Guyver, and our hero finds it. The company wants it back, so they send a bunch of anthropomorphic monsters to fight him.

Now, I've never read the original manga or seen any of the anime. I have no clue how this stacks up in a side-by-side comparison. I can say that this tape was a visual feast! Monsters galore! Unfortunately, it's not 100% greatness. Mark Hamill's character feels ultimately pointless, which is problematic given the amount of screentime dedicated to him. The other characters aren't too interesting either.

I got a good kick out of the scenes at the movie set, but not a whole lot of other stuff stuck out apart from the suits. I mean, suits are awesome and all, but this movie is going to score lower on our rating scale because we just don't have a category for monster suits. A lack of real characters hurt this one on the scoreboards especially.

My colleagues thought this was fun but unsubstantial. I guess I agree, but I think I may have liked it more than they did. I'd probably buy (not rent) the VHS again if I had to do all over.

Tuesday on Tape #5 - Ghost Dad

#5 - Ghost Dad (10/9/12)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Previews: .5/1
Soundtrack: .5/.5
B&T: 0/1.5
Graphics: 1/1
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 1/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: 1.5/1.5
Total: 5/7

Rent or Buy?: Buy

Personal Thoughts: Ghost Dad is another Tuesday on Tape MVP. This movie looks like a bad family comedy. Well, it kind of is. What makes the movie shine is the excellent performance by Bill Cosby. The writers and director let Bill Cosby go wild, and it shows. This is good stuff.

Bill Cosby plays a dad who winds up a ghost. This may be the most likable character ever! His likability resulted in a full Likable Characters score, despite there being no other likable characters in the movie. When I'm 50 and turn into a ghost dad, I hope to be as cool as Bill Cosby is in Ghost Dad.

This movie would have definitely hit the full points category if it had more previews and some B&T. Unfortunately, it didn't. Thus, it isn't the perfect tape. What do you expect from a Bill Cosby family flick? Either way, you owe it to yourself to watch it if you ever run across a copy.

Find of the Week (12/30/12 - 1/5/13)

The Ripper (1985) VHS

Value: $4 on Amazon.com

Actual Cost: $0.50

Ok, this isn't a super good find in terms of value-to-actual-cost ratio. The reason it's the find of the week is because it's another shot-on-tape horror movie (and I didn't buy anything else valuable this week)! I'm lucking out this month! Shot-on-tape, or shot-on-video, is my favorite subgenre, if you can call it that, of horror.

How does The Ripper fare compared to other SOV horror? I don't know. It's not exactly renowned for being good or anything. We'll see when I watch it. I'm excited to see how it turns out. I am a fan of the starring actor Tom Savini. I loved his remake of Night of the Living Dead, preferring it to anything ever made by George Romero. On the other hand, I am not a fan of horror movies that follow the life of the killer. (When A Stranger Calls is the exception because that film was genius.)

Maybe I'll start a shot-on-tape horror review feature. I own a few others on bootleg DVD, so it could be interesting. I'll watch it soon and let you know what I think.

Find of the Week (12/16/12 - 12/22/12)

R.E.M. - Reckoning (Vinyl)

Value: $5, online

Actual Cost: $1

I went out shopping for comics with one of my best pals, Sean, and picked up the new Haunted Horror #2. (Haunted Horror is a great comic, by the way!) Above the comic shop sits a small record shop. After we were done with comics, we checked out the vinyl.

I picked up a few things, but none of the others were cheaper than I would expect to pay online. REM's   Reckoning does sell online for $5 + shipping on discogs.com, so I suppose this is the best find of my week. I would guess that you can get it for $1 at other record stores. My copy is beat up, too, so it's probably only worth a dollar. Either way, I didn't go shopping much this week.

The vinyl is ok, but does skip on the first track on side B. I won't do a full album review. (Not yet, at least. I'm trying to stay away from music on this blog for now.) I will say that Reckoning is some good jangle pop. It's a little same-y, but that shouldn't deter you if you're into the subgenre.

Vinyl is really cheap nowadays, so check your local store to see if they have a copy of this.

Tuesday on Tape #4 - Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

#4 - Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (10/2/12)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Previews: .5/1
Soundtrack: 0/.5
B&T: 0/1.5
Graphics: .5/1
Sound Effects: 0/.5
LikableLikable Characters: .5/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1.5
Total: 2/7

Rent or Buy?: Avoid

Each week, we will list things about the tape that deserve special kudos. This week kudos go out to:

• Censoring curse words with fart noises
• Releasing the VHS as Family Edition only, censoring the risque aspects of the theatrical release
• Copious amounts of stunt driving
• Weird, misleading letterbox effects that disappear after a few seconds
• Babies on the cover aren't in the movie
• “I like bouncin’!”
• “Can a baby get some water?”

Personal Thoughts: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 looked so much better than it actually was. I've been wanting to see this movie since it was released in 2004. The first Baby Geniuses movie is pretty stupid and funny, and this one looked even more stupid! How could it not be funny?

I recently remembered the bouncy ball baby and decided to look up the trailer. The trailer was hilarious, so I immediately checked to see if the movie was on VHS. 2004 was the very, very late end-of-days era for the format in America. I figured if any movie would be released on tape in '04, it had to be some family movie drivel like Baby Geniuses 2. As soon as I saw it available on Amazon, I purchased a new copy from the marketplace.

As for the actual movie, it sucked. Now, one thing to keep in mind with my reviews is that if I say something sucks, it sucks. Bad. I appreciate things that are so-bad-it's-good (I never liked that phrase). I don't consider campy stories and hilarious acting to be "sucky." If I say something sucks, it has to be boring and unentertaining. Sucky fits Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 to a tee.

A child superspy uses a machine to turn four babies into superheroes to fight some crazy German guy. The highlights were Bouncy Boy, the little baby who turns into a rubber superball. He gets the best lines in the movie, as quoted above in the kudos. There's a couple of other cool things like the stunts (with some hilarious CGI thrown in too) and fart jokes. In between that goodness, however, is a bunch of boring crap. Mostly it's just Jon Voight playing a Hitler type, talking about he hates babies. Avoid this if you actually want something funny to watch. Watch only if your viewing group is strong enough to talk through the really boring moments in bad movies.