Tuesdays on Tape #17-19

#17 - Snow Day (2/5/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: 0/.5
Previews: 1/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: .5/1
Graphics: 1/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 1/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: 1/1
Total: 5.5/7

Rent or Buy?: Buy

Kudos:

• Custom boxart and orange tape
• Farts on top of farts
• Smash Mouth soundtrack
• Fry cabin homage to Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
• My friend Steve

Personal Thoughts: Snow Day turned out really nicely. I had low expectations for a Nickelodeon movie, but it wasn't bad at all. While not hilarious by any means, it was enjoyable throughout and even had a couple of funny jokes. The cast did really well at not being annoying. If you like fart jokes and turn-of-the-century pop rock music, you will like it. Ultimately, though, it's a kids movie from 2000. Those without nostalgic investment in the period may not enjoy it as much as we did.

#18 - When Nature Calls (2/12/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: .5/.5
Previews: 1/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: 1/1
Graphics: 1/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 1/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1
Total: 6/7

Rent or Buy?: Buy

Kudos:

• Lots of sweet previews and a post-movie infomercial
• Bullet Baby
• Cougar fight (with intermission)
• Peep show
• Freddie Blassie
• Copious amounts of stunt animals

Personal Thoughts: This is my kind of movie! Made by the lesser of the Kaufman brothers for Troma in  1985, When Nature Calls is a whacky ride. In true Troma fashion, it combines clever humor with low brow gags for lots of laughs. This came out the same year as Toxic Avenger and reminds me of Troma's older comedies (before all Troma Studios films where over-the-top cheezfests). That doesn't mean it's not a little whacky, though.

It's a spoof of the Wilderness Family series, which I didn't know going into it. I was pleasantly surprised by some of the jokes. There is a hilarious man vs. cougar fight, a crazy tirade by Freddie Blassy, and a slew of funny parody trailers at the beginning. This little-known Troma gem is a classy production, right down to the Gone With the Windesque box art. Troma-fans should consider this essential viewing.

#19 - Balto (2/26/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: .5/.5
Previews: .5/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: 0/1
Graphics: 1.5/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: .5/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1
Total: 4.5/7

Rent or Buy?: Buy

Kudos:

• Awesome looking grizzly bear
• Colorful aurora borealis grafx
• Morse code dog
• Palette-swapped pudgy dogz

Personal Thoughts: I've seen Balto a million times. My 2nd and 3rd grade teacher was from Alaska. She would fit Alaska and the Iditarod into the curriculum whenever she could. I think I seriously watched Balto every week for those two years of my school career. So, naturally, it's an important part of my childhood memories.

Unfortunately, it's not great. Not bad, just not great. It fits somewhere in the mid-range of the pantheon of 90s cartoons. Balto is better than We're Back, not as good as Mulan. A couple of things that hold this back are a lack of funny jokes and a couple of really annoying polar bear characters. I would only recommend it for 90s nostalgia.

(The actual story of the Nome medicine run is pretty interesting. After re-watching Balto, I looked it up and read about it for a good hour or so. The story is quite impressive!)

Tuesdays on Tape #14 - #16

With the beginning of the new year, we revamped our rating scale. It's still pretty much the same, but point values have changed. We did add a half point for having cool box art, too.

#14 - Explorers (1/15/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: 0/.5
Previews: 0/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: 0/1
Graphics: 1.5/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: .5/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1
Total: 3.5/7

Rent or Buy?: Rent

Kudos:

• Crazy rock 'n roll dance number 
• Sound fx taken from alternator belt
• Trashbag kid

Personal Thoughts: Personally, this was my least favorite tape we've watched. I can't believe we rated everything that highly, especially graphics. This movie was only decent when the aliens were introduced at the end. I was very disappointed by this because I remember loving it as a kid. It sucks even more because I've grown to be a huge Joe Dante fan since then. (Gremlins 2 and Matinee are two of the best movies of all time.) Oh well.

#15 - Ed (1/22/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: .5/.5
Previews: 0/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: 0/1
Graphics: 1/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: 0/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1
Total: 3/7

Rent or Buy?: Rent

Kudos:

• Clean Up scene
• Crazy stunt driving
• "I'm gonna spank . . . that monkey."
• Sound fx when kid patted on back

Anti-Kudos:

• No colonoscopy scene

Personal Thoughts: This was the first tape to get an anti-kudos. We had looked up Ed on Wikipedia and read that Ed gives an opposing player a colonoscopy. We were so disappointed to find out this doesn't actually happen in the movie. It turns out that the colonoscopy thing was simply vandalism of the Wikipedia article. When we rated this movie, the shadow of the missing colonoscopy was hanging over our heads. I think the rating reflects that. The movie wasn't that bad (definitely not iMDB bottom 100 bad), but everyone had a bad taste in their mouth afterwards. Upon reflection, I think it's a lot better than Explorers, which we rated higher. Oh well, Tuesdays on Tape is a democratic rating committee, so I only have so much say.

Basically, this movie is pretty much the Cable Guy of animal companion movies. The 90s pumped out tons of those flicks. Like Cable Guy in relation to other Jim Carrey comedies, it's an oddly serious, adult-minded variation of the formula where many of the jokes fall flat. There are better animal companion movies out there, but Ed is definitely far from the worst. Check it out if you liked Dunston Checks In, I guess.

#16 - We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story (1/29/13)

Tuesdays on Tape Rating Scale™

Boxart: .5/.5
Previews: 0/1
Soundz: .5/.5
B&T: 0/1
Graphics: 1.5/1.5
Sound Effects: .5/.5
Likable Characters: .5/1
Memorable Moments/Quotables/Emotion: .5/1
Total: 4/7

Rent or Buy?: Rent

Kudos:

• LaZr Kage
• Naughty Boys Delight
• Hellzapoppin'
• Proto Juggalo/Dark Carnival

Personal Thoughts: We're Back is a stinker. Plain and simple. Mostly the movie just drags on with little of interest going down. The best parts are the fine animation (GRAPHICS!) and musical number by John Goodman. Ultimately, though, this thing fits alongside other 90s animated features like Pagemaster. Basically, the only way you'll enjoy this is if you're a kid. I'd rate this one an avoid.